Am I Eternally lost?
I read your commentary on, Hebrews 6:4-6 & 10:26-31. My question is many years ago,i asked jesus to save and forgive me. However, during the worst period of my life, I engaged in wifull sin for many years after Christ into my life. During that time I thought grace gave me a license to sin. I no longer believe that grace and repentance operate that way. I have since asked Jesus numerous times to forgive, cleanse, and give me a new heart. I no longer engage in those wilfull sins but I cant get peace or assurance that jesus had forgiven me. I dont know if satan isputting those thoughts in my mind or if its the Holy Spirit letting me know that I crossed the line and cannot be forgiven. I no longer want to be an enemy of Christ. Can I be forgiven or does my doubt and fear mean that I am lost? Please respond..ive been in mental torture over this matter for the past 7 yrs.
Thank you so very much for reaching out with this important question... YOU ARE NOT LOST! Showing your willingness and desire to seek forgiveness proves that! The passage in Hebrews 6 says that they cannot be forgiven, more because they won't seek it, not because God won't willingly grant it, if a person is reprobate it means they refuse His forgiveness (which is always offered), there is a hardness and an unwillingness to return and be forgiven, in other words, they are REJECTING Jesus and the gospel (repeatedly). I do not believe you qualify for this. It sounds as if you had a time in your life when you were not living as you should, but the Lord never left you, He was there the entire time... I believe that is when the Holy Spirit was drawing you back speaking His love and grace over you... And you returned, proving that you are not lost and you have been forgiven! So here's what I want you to do....
First, Reassure yourself that you are forgiven and accepted, YOU are a child of God. Speak this truth repeatedly to yourself over and over. Here's some verses to meditate on: Psalm 103:12; Matthew 26:28; Acts 3:19; II Corinthians 5:17-19; Ephesians 1:7-10; Colossians 1:13-14; Hebrews 10:17; I John 1:9.
Secondly, settle this truth in your heart. I hope what I've written here encourages you and sets your heart and mind at rest... but you must believe it! Make up your mind once for all that you are saved and redeemed and NOTHING can separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus ( Romans 8:31-36 ). It doesn't matter how you feel, the truth trumps feelings...Once you settle this truth for yourself, YOU will have PEACE!
Lastly, when these thoughts of doubt and condemnation do pop up, know that it is coming from the enemy who knows how to push your buttons. If he keeps you in this cycle of mental torture then you'll never have peace or fulfill the God's call on your life... beside's that you will be miserable! James 4:7 says, "Submit yourself to God, RESIST the devil and HE WILL FLEE from YOU!" So when these thoughts come up tell him to shut up! Speak it out loud and then go back to step 1 and read those verses to reassure yourself again! Chances are that you will only have to do this 2 or 3 times before He knows he won't be able to get at you in this way again and he'll leave you alone... Freedom:)
God bless! Have a wonderful day of Freedom in Jesus name!